Wisdom and Gifts

Wisdom and Gifts

Wisdom is knowing if you should accept help from people who offer it. Whether it is a gift or a favor or a service, help usually comes at a price. Be wary of people who offer to help you or give you something with no clear way for you to return the favor with something of equal value. Think about what that person really wants from you. There is always a motivating reason behind an offer of help. Some people want to get rid of excess belongings and don’t want to take the time to seek out a charity that could use it. Some people want to feel good about themselves and don’t want to spend the time on volunteer work or the money on financial donations to charities. Some people want your romantic affections. Some people want you to be socially indebted to them. Some people want to prove their worth to the world. Everyone in a society wants to feel valued. It is important to ensure the strength of social systems that allow people to contribute their talents to their society while getting rewarded for their contributions. However, it is not your duty to be indebted to someone who wants confirmation of their self-worth.

If a stranger offers an unexpected gift, don’t accept it. The best way to respond to an unexpected offer is with a smile, a statement of gratitude for their kind offer and a statement that you don’t need it at this time. If you have the opportunity, you can suggest where they can take the gift or offer of service to help those who do need it. A church, a charity or a non-profit organization are made to accept donations. If you decide to accept a gift, consider if it is worth the price you will ultimately have to pay and how that price will be extracted from you.

Wisdom is knowing when to ask for help. We can’t live completely independent from other people. We need to interact sometimes. It is good to show your ability to manage your responsibilities well with little help from others. But, finding ways to offer and receive with parity is important to maintain the well-being of your society. Sometimes we need advice from trusted people. No person can know everything.

Wisdom is knowing from whom to accept help. If you know someone well or see that person frequently, you have an opportunity to return a favor or pay a person back for their assistance. Mentorship is designed to provide a young or inexperienced person with a teacher who can help. Social groups, professional organizations and churches are designed to provide people with individuals who can help when help is needed. Apprentices pay back their learning by working for a skilled craftsman, professional mentees pay back by taking on professional mentees of their own and social group members pay back by helping maintain their social group.

However, some people want to help others out of simple kindness. A pay-it-forward system only works if gifts are very small and the people in a society can fairly judge the value of gifts or services. Evil gains power in the from of misunderstanding between the giver and receiver of a gift. A person might expect more from you than what the gift is worth or they might not expect anything. You don’t know. Are you willing to take the risk that you have received a gift from a dishonest person?

When people are suffering, it is hard to watch and not offer help. That is when to give money to or volunteer to work with a charity that is designed to provide help.

Everyone goes through times in their lives when they want to be very industrious. Usually, they are young adults who want to contribute their talents and show their worth. Some people are naturally industrious, because they feel better staying active. Everyone at any age wants to contribute to some extent. If for whatever reason, you have worked long and hard to contribute to some cause or group with no expectation of reward, some people may feel indebted to you.

Wisdom is knowing when to take an earned gift graciously. Consider what is being offered and if you need it. It is acceptable to decline if it is not helpful to you. If you can’t explicitly articulate what compensation you would rather have, pray about it.

If you have had to live among people who don’t value you and you have worked hard to contribute to the group anyway, there may be some hard feelings you are keeping deep inside. Holding a grudge is not good for the soul. Forgiveness heals it. If you have let go of your anger and forgiven your tormentors with no expectation of anything but your own peace of mind, you might find many years later that they want to give you something as compensation. At that point, you probably have achieved peace of mind, self-sufficiency, become skilled at living on limited resources and given up on the lofty aspirations of wealth and prosperity that the misleading voices around you want you to believe in.

In this situation, you probably already know the people offering the help or the gift. Two questions remain open: Do you trust them? And do you need it at that moment? It is important to be gracious enough to give a person a chance to re-gain your trust and to bring peace where there was conflict. But, you also have the right to decide when you are ready to receive an earned gift.

There may be many reasons why you are not ready to receive an earned gift. Negotiation of recompense is key to any exchange. There are many people who will want to give you something worthless for a service you have done that has cost you dearly. Hold out for what you truly value. The chances are highly likely that the people offering recompense will not know or value about what you truly value. It may require they wait a period of time before you are ready to call in the favor. When it is time, make it a gracious, positive exchange if you can, but always insist on what is truly important to you.